Friday, October 29, 2004
bleahz~ rested for three days.. felt better now..not coughing so much le.. although still coughing lah.. lol.. had pw in the afternoon today.. a dry run..was quite nervous halfway.. stumble abit.. but was generally okay ba.. managed to squeeze everything into 4 min plus.. which is good~ bleah.. then went home.. helped my sister do her makeup.. she is going for a halloween party.. she doens;'t haf any goth clothes.. so she borrowed mine.. help her fixed her eye lashes.. hahaa.. she is going act as a china doll tonight.. a goth one.. lol~ then i went to read my Godfather book.. hee~ finally i finished it!! the ending like damn nice..michael u rock manz! lol! going to return the book to bentoh liaoz.. he got such cool book.. okay.. that means i gotta start on my "Rage of Angels" by sidney sheldon.. sulin say damn nice.. i am going read it!! started talking to dong xiang again!! she is a damn chio girl.. miss her like hell.. lol
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:52 PM
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
heh.. stil sick n not recovering siaz.. went to the doctor.. the doc said my sickness has worsen.. that may be becos i nv get enuff of rest.. sighz.. got bronchitis~ the pipe thingy is infected.. thats why keep coughing.. thenthe doc gave mi a stronger antibiotics.. and the bill adds up to 46 bucks.. got 3 days of mc wohz! ate medicine.. got chance and went to sch.. got project work to do.. a dry run.. the dry run was okay for mi baz.. but i need to shorten my speech.. i am doing a lot woh. intro..rationale..trend..graph..case studies.. and upside n downside of trend.. difficult to squeeze everything into 5 min n 30 sec.. wahahahaha.. but i am gonna try.. heh..think faeez may take over the intro n rationale.. anywae.. after that.. i went to meet my Chinese orchestra friends at the canteen.. slack there and went to mac to snack... played poker games there.. like each of us taking a card and the biggest number gets to ask the smallest number a quesiton. manz.. kenny so suay.. got asked the most questions~asked alot of stupid questions... like who u wil gay with? which girl you will invite for a date.. and stuffs.. had a lot of fun.. then they walked mi to my busstop.. so nice siaz.. cos i sick n late for mi to walk alone.. -*TouchED*- hee hee~ i love you guys...
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:31 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
heh~ ziting told mi that mr yeow read my blog.. manz! i so paiseh can? but nvm.. it was meant for him to read lahz..i mean.. i wan to tell him that he had really aspire mi alot.. heh.. mr yeow.. if u ever come back to my blog again and happen to see this.. i just wanna say a big thank you.. 04s207 really owe you a big time! hee hee~ and pls leave mi a message at the left hand side of the blog k~ thanks! going to be so embarrassed manz.. but nvm lah.. ahahahhaa.. today my mum went to see mr yeow.. then the usual stuffs.. talk about retaining and stuffs... boring~ i gotten over the sad thingy le~ going to be strong.. like what mr yeow said... its just a matter of time to get to achieve what you want.. doesnt matter... i would just have to make sure that i really get down to business.. or else i will have to go to the mattresses( adapted from the Godfather by mario puzo) duhz...that book kinda rocks.. not totally.. but quite interesting..talking about mafias.. and you noe gangster those kinda? i just bought the rage of angels by sidney sheldon.. manz.. i am a fan of his.. he is so cool.. i am going to read the book after i finished with Godfather.. hee hee..
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:57 PM
Monday, October 25, 2004
Lucifer's tears
myheart skipped a beat when my phone vibrate... my mind was still recalling what lena had just said" my mum called.. they wan her to come down tmr to see mr yeow..." then as i picked up my called.. i heard my mum's voice.." hey ling.. are u coming back soon? you sick.. come back as early as possible k?" then i was really puzzled cos my mum wun usually do this sort of things.. so i asked if anything is wrong.. then she say nothing.. nvm.. then ltr i accompany lena to see mr yeow.. then mr yeow turned to mi and i asked him.." mr yeow... did u call my mum?" he nodded.. it was just like a thick dictionary being thrown to mi.. then he asked mi to come see him ltr so we can talk.. i went out of the lecture.. with the unexpected wetness of my eyes... " weiling~ weiling~" i heard sulin's voice.. yet i din turn back.. i just continued to walk towards the toilet.. with rising tide of tears...sulin.. sha.. and ting came into the toilet... saw mi and comfort mi.. people put in the same situation:albert... hafiz..lena.. sulin....ziting.. cherri.. shabana... i picked myself up after that first shock... and went to meet my pw mate to edit our wr.. then ltr i went to meet mr yeow at the bench outside the staffroom... we had a talk.. he asked mi if i know what i wan to be.. where my ending line is? what is it that i really want.. i told him that i wan to work with people... something to do with biology or medical field.. asked mi if i ever considered poly or teaching.. i said no.. what are my options are stuffs... he told mi something which i will not forget.. we have to remember what is the thing that we want in the end... there may be difficulties to get to the point.. or sometimes.. it may take longer just to get there.. when we are lost... we would just have to remind ourself that... this is the finishing line... and no matter longer or shorter... i listened to him.. i found my glaze unable to meet his.. some what ashamed... he asked if i love biology.. i say yes... but i used to hate it when i was in first three months.. due to the teacher...now that i developed such interested is becos of mr yeow... i have a long talk with hi.. which lasted about 30 mins or so.. crying at some point of time... he will be meeting my mum tmr at 8:50...after that talk.. we went to class to meet my friends... went to buy food and stuffs.. came back..sat there alone.. starting thinking.. started crying.. cant stop.. ziting saw.. she came to console mi.. after came cherri and wee keat.. thanks a lots guy... went to com lab.. sat there.. cry again...i called my mum ask her if she knew.. then she say want come fetch mi.. and i cried again.. talked to my friends.. cried again.. God knows i cried how many times.. mi.. sulin.. and cherri went to find mr yeow.. then he talked about the course in polytechnic....then my mum came.... then i went off...
Reality Sucks Big Time
6:20 PM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
crying in the dark so people cant see their faces
people around mi have been crying alot these few days.. not to mention myself.. i just read ziting's blog about mr yeow story.. this is the story from ziting's blog
He was in india back then.. n he was on his way back home to.. calcutta? (m i rite, faeez?) n he got robbed. n he was left w absolutely nth. he gt no money to buy another ticket to catch the train (he was 600km away from whr he lived n thr was no way he can walk back), neither did he had a single cent to make a call. n he was alone. so as he said, a door closed on him. so he had to choose to open another door for himself. so he decided to sell off wad he had in order to earn some money- 2 gd shirts and a towel. so he was literally sitting on the streets selling his stuff. n he couldnt speak tamil. so he communicated w the interested buyers using sign language. n he managed to earn $5 (which is abt 300bucks in india), which is enuff to purchase another train ticket. But he had to face a dilemma- if he was to pruchase the ticket, he'ld have no money to buy food. but if he chose to buy food, he'ld be stuck in calcutta. but in the end, he chose to board the train. nope, he didnt buy the ticket. he thought: if he is lucky enough to not meet any train conductor, good for him. he will have money for food, as well as get home. so.... he decided to try his luck. n u noe wad he did? he hid in the toilet the whole time coz he didnt have a seat, and also to avoid running into a train conductor. n he stayed in the toilet.. and slept inside into.. he would only come out if someone who needs the toilet knocks on the door. but his predecament (sp?) was seen through by the others. someone asked him, "Are you sick? you've been going to the toilet quite often". n so, mr yeow told them his story. n the ppl ard him were actually kind enough to help him. Some gave him food, while the others take turn to offer their seat to him and they just sit ard n talk. n they allowed him to slp when he's tired. but in the end, he met the train conductor. but again, he was kind enough to ask mr yeow to only pay for the ticket for the remaining of the journey. which left him abt 200bucks. (mr yeow said he felt guilty.. but he did pay afterall.. haha) And through all these, he was trying to illustrate that in this world, there are always ppl out thr who are willing to listen.. so if u happen to have a problem, dun sit ard n keep it to urself coz it doesnt do any help. "talk to others, they will listen to you.." was wad mr yeow said. n he said that his door will always be open for us.. as long as he's breathing.. n he also said that no matter what happens, he wants us to still go back to him and tell him what's happening in our lives.. n not wait until we have 12 kids or until we get married. i quote: "n hopefully i'll get a wife before that.. if not *laughs* malu.." haha~ mr yeow's so kute..
i was very touched by these story.. and i cried when i read the blog..
wanna say to mr yeow.. although i noe he wun be reading this blog.. mr yeow.. u are the best teacher i ever had.. all these years.. i have nv shown my fullest respect to any teacher at all..there wasn't a teacher whom i would really listen too n fear n admire..no teacher would have the ability to make mi do my tutorial faithfully and willingly..no teacher had ever draw my fullest attention from the start of tutorial to the end of it.. no teacher had ever make mi wanna thanks him so much.. no one.. but you.. you are a angel sent from God to our class 04s207... you have always been there for us whenever we need you.. you din abandon us when we were down.. u grieve with us.. play with us..and be with us throughout these years.. even though there were times when u were experiencing some difficulties in life.. yet u nv vent your anger on us or whatsoever..you not only did you part dutifully.. but also more than that.. just like our big daddy.. always there to protect us n guide us in the midst of darkness.. there were tears n happy times you and our class shared.. and if i ever going to leave mjc.. other than my class n cca friends...you will be the only thing i am going to miss...
Reality Sucks Big Time
10:42 PM
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now
I wonder....
If I could fallInto the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by'
Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever Think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memory
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
(chorus)
And I, I Don't want to let you know I, I Drown in your memory I, I Don't want to let this go I, I Don't....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know
I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight
Reality Sucks Big Time
1:44 PM
Friday, October 22, 2004
sick~ heh.. wokeup feeling sick.. had a terrible sore throat.. so i decided to go sch ltr.. take late form.. just nice.. yiqing told mi that she also going sch late.. so yeahz.. we went sch together.. have to go sch.. cos ltr got pw dry run presentation... so i went to general office to take the late form.. wanted that stupid irritating teacher who always picked on late students to sign the form.. then he asked mi how come late.. then i said.. sick.. then he said.." if u are sick.. then u shouldn't have come to sch.. u will pass the germs to everyone.. thats inconsiderate.." i was like.." i have pw ltr.. got dry run.." then he replied..." thats not the point.. u din get mi.. u will pass the germs..".. then i kept quiet.. tears in my eyes.. not that i am a cry baby or what... but it just feels like being wrong.. i am sick.. yet i still wan to come to sch.. cos i have responsiblities towards my pw members..so i have to come.. or else i would not know when we can present our project.. nvm.. its over.. then i went to third floor.. wait for ziting and faeez.. saw cecilia cry again.. i thinik partly is becos sick.. thats why feel terrible.. hmm.. went to biology lesson.. finally i got hold of mr yeow.. he is suppose to tell mi about my bio results threee days ago. but haven tell mi yet.. cos my results will be either AOF or OOF... AOF might have chance to promote.. but i think OOF wun have ba..so mr yeow told mi everything haven been finalise yet.. so he cant tell mi anything.. he explain to mi the situation the sch is deciding now.. then i ask mi.. what about my bio results? i noe is either aof or oof rite? then mr yeow nodded his head.. i was like.." oof?"
then he nodded again.. i was like.. being hammered hard on the head.. i haven been feeling anything at all ever since i got back my exams results... i also dun even feel sad or what at all.. been relaxing.. lol.. but mr yeow's nod... really hit mi in my head... i walked into the lecture for maths.. fighting back my tears... sat down beside albert.. and i couldn't help but just cry.. all those sniffing n crying.. in my head was spinning with mr yeow's words.. i couldn't take it.. not anymore..was crying through out half the lecture.. i think albert noe.. but he din noe what to do.. haix.. i dunoe ba.. then after that.. before pw started.. i went to accompany eugena.. who is sitting at the bench at a corner.. we talked things over.. there had been some dispute within pw.. its nothing personal.. just becos of some delays.. or misunderstanding.. but we are still very close.. talked.. then ziting came to join us.. we talked about shatec... eugena wishes to go enrol there..ltr.. cherri came.. i saw tears in her eyes.. she had been crying.. we talked... then suddenly.. i started cring.. ziting too.. eugena teared..
manz.. this is bad.. real bad.. cried for so long.. cant help but cry..why? over results.... all those retain.. promote.. quit sch.. go poly.. and stuffs.. mjc really messed up my life manz.. wished i haven change jc... haix... we cried for a long time.. before going back to pw work.. damnz..
to be continued...
Reality Sucks Big Time
6:21 PM
sms ryan... he knew that i am not feeling good today... then he invited mi to his sister's birthday party.. at gallery hotel.. been feelin bored at home.. so decided to go accompany him... went there by cab..met ryan.. ryan warned mi that his parents will ask alot of questions.. lol.. so cute one.. reached tere.. met his dad.. his dad is really a funny person! very humorous and friendly... he urged us to go eat first.. its a buffet style.. so i and ryan and other few friends went to get food.. quite nice siaz... learnt that ryan doesn't like to eat fish... i used not to like fish.. in fact.. now i still dun like fish.. but i now dun really mind to eat fish.. lol..after food.. we went to sit at another corner.. cos abit brght siaz.. all the couple couple thingy... and the people tot we are together.. but actually we are not!!! just good friends siaz.. was a bit pasieh.. but i quite used to it le.. lol.. stone with ryan... talked.. then it started to rain... oh my.. then we quickly went inside the building.. slack there.. talked again.. then ltr rain stopped le.. and went back outside again..ryans's dad n mum are really nice people..although feel abit awkward.. but overall stil very fun.. time to cut cake!!! we went inside the building to the lounge there..sang birthday song to the birthday girl...then mi and ryan sat at a corner.. talked about the old times we have.. the little memories.. feel very comfortable siaz... long time dun have this kinda little talk le.. now that we are all busy with our school life.. lol....after everything..hee hee.. then his dad came over to talk to us.. ask if i wan a sip out of his wine glass.. lol! then i say i cant.. i sick.. lol.. then he asked ryan to drink for mi.. ryan took the glass and drank everything.. woohoo.. not bad woh ryan..his dad fetch his mum home first.. then later fetch mi home.. and then ryan went to run some errands with his father.. really had a great time... :)
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:51 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
what the hell is going on now? seems like everyone is thinking of retaining.. going poly or getting kick out.. damn it.. look what mjc has done to us.. implanting deep fears into each of us.. my results.. nahz.. not good.. i think i must prob get AO for bio..confirm overall AO for maths.. for chem..? naven get yet.. but tellling ya.. the hopes aint high.. at most get AO.. most prob get F.. cos why.. i have been failing all the way.. i have been thinking.. what if i mark the requirement and i get promoted? then i go jc 2.. then i go on failing all the way.. manz.. this is going to be hard.. it will be better if i promotE!! then i can consolidate everything and do better for promos next year.. then when i come to As.. it wun be as bad rite? damnz.. i dunoe.. i hope God can help mi.. i dunoe what pathway should i take.. haix.. dammit.. everything is so screwed up.. but i aint feeling a thing.. i dunoe even noe what to feel.. seems like the friends aroun mi wants to withdraw.. i hope they dun.. >.<
been reading alot lately.. whenever there is free time.. i would pick up a book and read.. now still into sidney sheldon.. cos he totally rocks! his plots are all damn clever... he is one of the best writter i ever seen.. of cos other than my favourite jk rowling...cos to mi.. no one can beat her.. hee hee... hey guys.. any good books to recommand.. i am hungry for them.. but i think my eye sight gonna get poorer.. must take care of it.. hee hee.. see ya~
Reality Sucks Big Time
8:00 PM
Monday, October 18, 2004
Edgar Allan Poe - To Helen
Helen, thy beauty is to me
Like those Nicæan barks of yore,
That gently, o'er a perfumed sea,
The weary, wayworn wanderer bore
To his own native shore.
On desperate seas long wont to roam,
Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
To the glory that was Greece
And the grandeur that was Rome.
Lo! in yon brilliant window-niche
How statue-like I see thee stand,
The agate lamp within thy hand!
Ah, Psyche, from the regions which
Are Holy Land!
this poem is read by Tom Hanks in the movie- lady killers..
although was qutie a lame show.. but the way tom hanks recite the poem.. its so mesmerizing.. i just found out that this is the poem that he had recited.. such romantic and ambience... people who wish to see tom hanks doing something different can try watching this show
Reality Sucks Big Time
10:21 PM
ryan> just wanna say... cheer up.. not matter what happens.. remember.. u are not alone.. cos i will be there for you.. this is a promise.. :) cheer up.. or else u noe u will die of diabetes... m&ms... hee
love< weiling
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:19 AM
Sunday, October 17, 2004
when i cant get something... i would forget it... and force myself not to think about it.. fortunately.. i am quite successful.. hee hee.. had a heart to heart talk with eugena n ziting.. really glad that can talk like this.. i dun think i have anyone i like now..and i had the feeling that.. i wun be able to love someone for a long time.. cos i noe... nothing last forever... i dun have the feeling that i wan to get married young already.. cos i am numb... will get crushes here n there.. haven met the right one.. finding love in books... reading sidney sheldon... finding a world in books.. to run away from this earth.... creating a perfect utopia... to hide the ugliness...going out with friends.. watching movies.. having fun..been eating alot.. wanting to go on diet.. getting fat.. trying to lose weight.. laughing.. buying new clothes.. buying new shoes.. spending all my money.. being broke.. lol... luckily still have enuff cash lah.. lol.. must be careful with my spending.. hee hee!!
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:49 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
today wokeup at about 1 plus..wanted to meet shuying.. kenny.. joyce.. jackie they all.. but in the end gotta go for dental appointment.. damn... they went to sing k box.... so fun siaz.'. but i din join them.. sad.. but nvm.. i went to dental at 430... then after tat.. went to find them to have dinner.. took neoprint.. hee hee.. so cute lah.. kenny n jackie like dunoe how to take neoprint one.. then we decorated the picture.. fun..then went to eat yoshi.. mr jackie like nv eat yoshi before siaz.. keep thikning got use fork.. lol.. jap food leh.. mr jackie..not western.. heee...btw.. mango tea rocks.. i love the peach teach too! what else.. hahaha.. then evelyn came.. we went to walked around.. then all of them have to leave.. so i stayed at ps.. waiting for my darling charis to come meet mi.. hahhaa.. then seok came.. we went to watch ouija board.. so scary lah.. we were like late for 3-5 minutes.. when we just went in.. the stupid sound so loud.. got a a big fright...almost fell down walking to my seat siaz.. scary!!! woooOoOoo... but overall the show is damn scary.. but not bad lah.. ltr after show.. we decided we should watch some comedy! wahahah so went to buy tickets for dogde ball.. stupid n lame.. but not that bad lah.. lol.. i fell aslp anywae.. too tired... then went home by cab..
btw !!! i finished sidney seldon book today.. when i got home after the movie marathon.. hahaha.. too irresistable.. i love it! muakz! "the stars shine down"
Reality Sucks Big Time
4:33 AM
Friday, October 15, 2004
hee hee... today open house siaz.. then went school.. slack.. waited there... carry those instruments to the canteen.. the whole school like not many people come leh.. abit boring.. we perform also like very few people watch.. so cold.. but nvm.. anywae.. this is my first time performing for dizi.. so i am realyl very happy.. really wanna thanks kenny, my number 1 shifu.. who really taught mi alot of things.. and is always very patience.. and relly encourage mi alot.. next!!! is bentoh! he also taught mi alot of things.. and always like to suan mi.. but he is really very cute.. very funny guy.. last but not least.. is my lao da!! jin sheng.. u ah!! piangseh us!! waht the.. but i still wanna thank you for lending mi your dizi. lol.. and teaching mi some skills.. lol! the performance was great!! we played yu zhou chang wan and matsuri.. really nice.. then people ask for encore.. so my instructor perform dizi.. lol.. hee.. then when the whole thing is over.. our whole school dance mass dance.. so fun.'. and i went to make hena... the indian pattern on the hand? yeahz.. that.. so cool.. at last.. when everything is over.. our CHINESE orchestra people.. stayed back in the room.. then started talking.. and take pics.. crap around... then we decided to walk to white sands.. to eat ice cream.. hahaa.. so funny.. we talking about ghost stories in side mac.. lol.. then got shivers.. got scared.. lol.. went home.. wanted to go k box tmr!!! hee hee!!!!!!!!! Chinese orchestra people.. i wanna say thanks for making my life cool! heys.. chinese orchestra is not only a cheena kinda cca k.. dun depise it.. we are just a bunch of people who is able to appreciate chinese music... too bad u cant..
(you laugh at mi becos i am different... i laugh at you all becos u are all the same) by sulin
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:17 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
happy birthday to mi~
weehee! my birthday today! lol.. i went to meet yaosheng.. dansen.. and xing quan at chomp chomp.. hee hee.. then we ate supper there.. order this sting ray.. osyter egg.. sotong.. 3 cups of large sugar cane... then i wanted to pay.. yet they refused to let mi pay.. well.. really thanks alot guys.. so got feng du.. gentlemanly.. hee hee... while eating.. they kept wanting to pour more beer into my cup.. but attempting to trick mi by asking mi look behind! but hey.. i am clever k!? hee hee.. of cos i din allow them.. but instead i poured more into theirs.. they are nice guys lah.. lol.. dun worry.. we all just playing one.. hahhaa.. so went to the coffee bean area to slack.. the shops are all closed.. we played daidee.. i kept winning! miss lucky is with mi.. lol! then dansen n yaosheng kept losing.... and xing quan nv lose once.. not bad... lol.. then they send mi home.. took cab.. yeahz.'. niteZ
Reality Sucks Big Time
4:58 PM
today was a long wait.. woke up at 10 to check my sms and found out that pris wants to meet mi at 330...okay fine.. then nvm.. i went back to slp.. then after that she called mi at 1 to ask mi if i wan to meet her now.. erh. i ist wokeup.. then ask her nvm.. meet at 3.... thn okay. pris went for the forum thingy...so i went to rest for another while.. then until 2 then wokeup bath n prepare.... then wait n wait n wait.. until 330.. pris tel mi say she coming over liaoz.. so i went to the mrt there to meet them.. awit until 4... the pris came with charis n kingston.. stupid king bluff mi say not coming.. but he came lah.. lol.. then they gave mi a flower.. red colour.. quite sweet... then charis pass mi the present jun yang gave.. its a precious moments cup... hahhaa. very sweet.. with a card... hee hee.. JUNYANG> thanks a million! love it!
then we travelled down to town.... to cineleisure.. seok yin came also.. cecilia meeting us later...was deciding whether to watch movie or sing k box... after weighing to pros n cons... we decided to watch lady killers.. by tom hanks.. manz.. i love tom hanks.. all his movies are superb.. not exactly very nice.. but... there is a speciali kinda effect and meaning that will appeal to you... like for example.. cast away... forest grump... and the terminal.. all nice siaz.. so decided to watch this lady killer.. heee.. so we bought the tickets for 7:25 one..i treated them movie... then we went down to eat pasta mania.. ordered pasta...there was this joke about linguine being mee pok.. cos its flat.. lol~~ or.. mee kia.. for the thinner sorta pasta... then ltr cecilia came... charis saw this butch wearing green colour walking towards our direction.. and she shouted..:" hey~ tricia!" she tot was tricia.. then it turned out to be some other fellow.. so we kept teasing her about it.. saying hey.. charis.. why u nv say hi to your friend tricia.. hee hee..
kingston met some of his coral sec friends there.. some of them quite good looking siaz.. kingston asked them to do human beat box for mi.. lol.. but they guy shy lah.. lol.. so after eating. we went to take neoprint.'. oh manz!!1 damn nice lahz.. the decor very sweet..die! runnng late for movie.. we quickly chiong up.. st down and enjoy the movie..
erh..... yeah.. yeahz. nice.. tom hanks was this leader of this conspiracy who is trying to dig tunnel to a casino office to steal the money... there was about 6 people i think in this group... so tom hanks rented a room in this old lady's house... near the office.. brought his so-called musician friends to the wood cellar to play music.. while digging the walls to the cellar..finally... with some work.. they manage to get the money.. however.. the old lady discovered their conspiracy... forcing them to return the money.. and go church with her.. but tom hanks refused.. so he decided to draw lots among the group.. to send someone to go silence her...oh yah.. in the show.. tom hanks likes to recite this poem... its really nice lah...alot of feelings.. but i dun really think go any point to the show.. maybe there is... i couldn't catch it.. btw... while sending the people to kill her.. the people die in action...one died while fighting with another guy... one die while choking on his cigarette and fall down the stair.. when one person die.. they will dump the body down from a bridge,... waiting for the boat that transport rubbish to the island.. so... the boat pass under the bridge.. they dump the body.. as easy as abc... hee.. then one by one die.. until the last two.. tom hanks wants the guy to kill the lady.. the guy refused.. so the guy took the gun wanting to kill tom hanks.. but no bullet come out.. so he look at the gun.. facing him..then bang. he die.. by shooting himself.. so tom hanks was thinking if is fated.. suddenly. a bird landed on the statues head above him... the bird flew away.. and the statues head drop.. and kill him. then he fal in the boat which just passed by... old lady keep the money in the end... hmm.. what u think> lame??????? i tot so too.. but somehow.... i dun really believe its just lame.. maybe there are some message trying to be convey.. just that its too vague.... lol.. nvm.. had a good laugh anywae. then ltr we went to the ps.. wanting to look at skirt.. but close le. weehee.. reach sr mrt.. met wei..he passed mi a present.. and walked mi home.. i opened up the present... its this bottle of hearts... 99 hearts.. very sweet... and nice. i like it... done some pw.. n slept..
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:08 PM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
actually wanted to go kingston's church one...but ltr when i finsihed preparing.. mr dear lester... called mi and ask mi go to his church.. i dun mind.. so i went.. cos i am church hopping.. hoping to find a church i really like a lot..and feel comfortable in... so went to new creation.. before going in..still must go and queue up! heh.. long queue siaz.. then finally.. after half an hour of waiting.. got into the auditorium.. sat down rested.. wohoo... then had song session.. sang many nice songs..hmmm...when i sang a song.. there was one lyrics which goes something like.." forgive me.. for all the sins i have done..." yes.. i am a sinner.. i have done so many wrong things.. i need forgiveness.. i need to repent.. i need to take away the unhappiness... i need to fill the emptiness in my heart...i wan to go back to God....i need help.. cos i am falling.... thats why when i sang that part.. i started tearing... haix.. sad.. but relieve... heh.. heh..then listen to pastor prince sharing gospel... talking about sins... dust... devil.. he is so damn funny.. so cute lah. lol.. then ltr mi n lester went to cineleisure.. cos wanted to meet charis for shopping.. ltr she tell mi say going to watch movie together with suen.. then wan mi check timing.. but ltr say wanna watch white chicks...i watched before liaoz.. din wanna watch again.. cos i dun wan to spent extra money siaz.. lol.. theni bought tickets for them.. then mi n mr lester went to eat at yoshinoya.. hee hee.. mango tea rocks! lalala~ then we have a talk.. about last time.. friends.. crushes.. and stuffs.. so cute.. btw lester.. your hair is so nice.. i wanna pull them! lol! then charis n suen came!! met up with aaron n afrif.. manz!!! aaron n afrif is still damn handsome.. had a little chat... about their schools and stuffs.. lol.. then ltr they went off.. then mi lester.. charis n suen.. went to walk around.. suen tried on this skirt.. damn short siaz.. but nice lah.. but she din buy.. lol.. then ltr eugena sms mi go pw meeting n stuffs.. so wanted to go meet them.. but ltr cancelled.. so end up.. i went to ps to walk walk myself.. then go home.. hehe!!! met faezz to collect the pw proposal..
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:30 PM
so tiring.. sorry these days nv blog.. cos dam tired..
after exams.. went to watch white chicks.. then played game until 3 am at night.. next day went to watch movie with cecilia.. watch resident evil.. lol.. then reach home.. played game until 2... nxt day need to go school at 9 plus for project work.. shoooo tired.. but nvm.. after project work.. ate breakfast with shunwei.. emi.. ziting.. and faezz.. lol~ then ltr went to emi house.. with ziting n shunwei.. sho we played table tennis and hi PONG! and pool! teached ziting how to play pool!.. u GO zitiNG!! JIA YOU! hee.. hee.. had a lot of fun playing hi PONG!! LOL!.. pespire alot!!!scream.. shouted!! laugh histerically!! lol.. sang song.. watch tv.. slack.. lol!! so much fun.. then went home.. sho tired siaz.. reach home at 8 plsu.. nvm.. rested for a while.. then ltr charis called! damnit! ask mi go out.. so we went out with other friends.. lol! then went to watch exorcist.. heh.......... then slack at swesens until 4.. reach home at 5.. dam nit!! soooo tired.. the next day i got school siaz.. so!!!!!! i wokeup at 9.. -.-" tired!!!! went to school for chinese orchestra!!! haix. tired.. then went home!!! super super super super pain.. i had cramps like from 4-6 plus! i wan to die.. i was rolling on the bed.. whinning.. and crying.. until my mum have to help mi massage all over my body.. cos i almost died from cramps..stupid... then my mum went to cook ginger soup for mi.. i feel like dying.. feels like body got twisted and burning pain.. heh...... nvm.. then ltr i slpt for an hour.. then went to meet pris for dinner.. hee hee.. talk n slack.. n eat.. at iman 24 hour... ordered indian rojak.. and prata.. talk about certain things.. heart to heart talk..then almost fall aslp.. now blogggin........................................
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:55 AM
wat have i done? i dun even noe..
i hate you! i hate it when u talk about her
i hate it when i have to listen to how u love her
i hate it when i have to listen to how much u care
i hate it when you tell mi you are going to meet her
i hate it when you tell mi you have met her just now
i hate it when you took care of her when she is not well
i hate it when i see the pictures you two took together
i hate it when the pictures are in your phone and cupboard
i hate myself for getting jealous
i hate myself for being angry
i hate myself for being late
i hate myself for liking u
i hate myself for not being a good listening ear
i hate it when i speak of the opposite
i hate it when i hide the truth
i hate it when i am sarcastic to you
i hate.. i just hate everything...
but what did i do.. i dun even noe...
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:31 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Dreaming the girl of my dreams....
yesterday i slept at 3am... had alot of dreams... i dreamt that i am a lesbian.. sitting in the garden.. with a girl.. whom i barely know who she is...mysterious smile.. beautiful eyes...we just looked at each other.. and started holding hands and hankie pankie.. i dun wanna go into details.. lol~ but if u want.. u can ask mi.. and i will tell yah.. then cos my mum is at home.. and she might be able to see what we are doing.. so we went outside the the pool side.. sat there talk. and make out.. heh.... dun get gross lah. i also duno why i get this dream siaz..... okay.. continue.. then i dreamt then i bring her to a chalet.. all the people there are all lesbian.. sitting around a table.. then i went to sit with a bung.. then she wasn;t happy... cos i neglected her..then i brought her to a dentist or something.. duneo why... then we sat outside.. talk.. heee... and yahz.. lol! so lesbo! i dunoe why siaz.. then i woke up.. feeling so lesbian today.. heh..just feel that.. hey.. i am in love with the girl of my dreams.. hey~~~~~~ but i am straight k!! dun anyhow think!!! hee hee.. but i dunoe why i got such funny dreams..
afternoon
went out with cecilia... to suntec.. she went for a interview thiny at iora... she got in! ahahahhaa! good luck cecilia! then went to the cinemas to get our movie tickets.. REsident evil!!! oh.. i have been wanting to watch this show ever since the resident evil 1 ended siaz.. damn nice.. starting of the show i already scared like hell... mi n cecilia... damn thrilling.. but nice.. lol!! maybe will have resident evil 3.. i hope so!!! cos project alice is activated.. before watching movie.. we went to cafe cartel to grab a bite.. met cecilia's friend.. quite a friendly and nice guy... treat us soup too! hee.. then we went watch movie.. after movie.. we walked around.. went sanrio.. bought a little tiwn star ez link card folder thingy.. very sweet... and we went to try the capsule machine thingy.. those machine that u put in coin.. n turn.. a toy will come out? yeahz.. we were in luck.. we only tried four times... and we got the whole set of five.. one of them is given by this family who had tried the machine 10 over times.. just to get the five complete set.. lol.. then they gave one to us.. so nice!! thanks!!!then cecilia n i...went to the sky garden.. sat there... talked.. slack.. listening music.. so romantic and fun.. a great time...hope i can do this more often.. slack.. just talk..a comfortable shoulder to lie on..hee hee... then slowly.. we went home.. today is so comfortable.. lotsa fun to go out with your best friend rite? lotsa things to catch up.. even if both of you dun talk.. silence is also comfortable....
Reality Sucks Big Time
12:43 AM
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
weeheEEEEE~~ today is the last day of exams!!! chem n maths today.. sigh.. when i finished my chemistry paper.. i was.... expressionless.. totally no expression at all siaz.. so can.. but nvm.. i was thinking.. hmm.. maybe maths can help mi out.... but but but! hahaha.. i walked out after maths thinking that.. ahahha.. guys... i see you in next year orientation siaZ! lol!no commentz.. hais.. my retribution~ weehee! btw!!! dunnoe why when doing my biology n chem paper.. i kept having headache n sinus.. so jia lat siaz.. so tong ku... somemore.. i been studying hard for the past three weeks.. but.. haix.. nvm.. oh well.. its over.. what can i do! lol!
today... after papers went to watch white chicks with my class mates.. actually wanted to watch resident evil with sulin n emi.. butbutbut! emi wanted to watch white chicks.. she was quite torned.. then i anything loh.. i dun mind watching white chicks anywae.. so sulin decided that she wun watch.. so we went ahead to head white chicks~ stupid show!! but butbutbubtu! suPEr funny!! especially after a stressed up week... a good laugh is definitly what i need.. lol.. in the show.. the guy say.." when i regreted most is not saying 'i love you' everyday.."then he said.. "i love you" to the girl.. oh~~~ so sweet siaz..hahaha.. then after that.. we went cheers to buy sparkling juice!!! toAST to Our doomsDAy.. lol.. wrong.. is to our freedom!! wahahaha! see ya!
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:59 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
on the pathway of recovery...
still hurts a little here and there..
but i am very sure.. soon after.. i will be kicking n alive..
yeahz! exams!.. tmr finished.. which means i can play..
birthday coming too.. what should i do? hmm.. i think i just ask a few friends out go eat can le..
also dunoe whether they remember not.. lol~
today quite happy... cos tmr exams finished! yuppie~
Reality Sucks Big Time
5:55 PM
Sunday, October 03, 2004
lenore dedicated a poem to mi.. she is so sweet.. i love her!!! muakz!
there is so much things i wanna say.. but i just cant express in words.... lenore told mi to write it in my blog.. so i am gonna try.. today studied the whole day!! but just cant finished tha bloody things i have to fnished.. thigns kp going through in my mind.. da ben dan.. get out of my head.. stop saying those things that will make mi sad can.. actually.. i love to hear you say them.. but.. haix.. haix haix.. thats what i am feeling.. i gotta finished a whole lot of shit.. biology.. chi. haiz.. i dunoe lah.. fuck it
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:27 PM
lenore dedicated a poem to mi.. she is so sweet.. i love her!!! muakz!
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:27 PM
lenore dedicated a poem to mi.. she is so sweet.. i love her!!! muakz!
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:27 PM
a poem written by lenore dedicated to me..
Reality Sucks Big Time
8:35 AM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
"the magical journey ends tonight" say the God fairy mother who was dressed in shimmering blue victorian dress, decorated with pearls. In her hand was the little wand which turned her dreams into real. Tonight, one wave of the magical stick will also cause her dreams to end. Cinderalla stole the last kiss from her prince, and broke into a run, with tears in her eyes. Not wanting to let the bubbles of happiness bust by it self, cinderalla would have to destroy it first. Cause, its either sooner or later. "And it ends here..." ....
Reality Sucks Big Time
6:55 PM
solitary
Reality Sucks Big Time
11:15 AM
haix.... its hurts.. all this pain
when can it heal?
there seems no end to it..
i have nv felt such sense of regrets and pain before..
stop it! shut up about it! thats what i would say... stop being nice to mi...
but deep down.. how did i yearn to listen to you to say those words..but no..
haix........ listening to that song u send.. over n over n over... painfulness.. regrets... all these feelings lingers...and refused to leave.. killing me slowly on the inside..
but i will promise to be strong...
but...
for once..
just let me be weak
Reality Sucks Big Time
2:05 AM
Friday, October 01, 2004
sigh......i dunoe how to go about this entry.. but it wasn't a good day for me today... went to school study.. went home.. study.. made a big decision in my life..it was so painful for me.. cos i know that i will regret my decision.... i know that this would have to come sooner or later.. the problems is just mi... i am also a human.. a girl.. who wants to feel security.. u have been treating mi real well... i am so aware of that.. but.. sigh.....so when i told you that... my heart was numb.. i cant feel anything.. i was at the verge of breaking down... but i kept it back.. not wanting to stay at home... i went back to school to find my friends... studied together..my friend suddenly cried.. she is having some relationship problems.. my another friend also... these few days we three have been so stressed and having problems here and there.. almost everday will cry... sighz.. after awhile... when i recieved a sms of you cant bear to leave mi... i broke down instantly... three of us cry.. hug.. laugh.. sad.. all the emotions going through... haix.... i have to "zhen4 zhuo4 qi3 lai2" i cant let it affect mi... but.. sighz.....i cant bear too.......
Reality Sucks Big Time
7:30 PM
This hurts... all the pain... is tearing me... apart...
Expressionless....
Emotionless...
Twilight descend
A girl kneels there
She is but a face
No ones' there to notice her...
No ones' there to care...
Knives plunged.
Crimson red.
Excruciating.
Falling into the deep abyss
composed on 1 oct 2004
Reality Sucks Big Time
10:49 AM
Music Note Letter
I'm not good with this tune i'm playing
But would you still listen to me?
Even though i'm playing the simplest song
Would it still get through to you?
I've always, always, had something to tell you
But i've never been putting them into words
I hide it all, with this fear, that i'm going to lose you
So i decide to put them all into notes
This hurt, all this pain
Is tearing me apart
I seek, shouting for you
In this maze of love
Please take me out of this rain
Out of this sad melody
Would you just let me send some love to you
I'm not good with this song i've written
I only pray you'll listen to me
This could be the last song i'm playing
For you in this sad melody
I've always, always, had something to tell you
BUt i've never been putting them into words
I hide it all, with this fear, that i'm going to lose you
Oh, how i yearn to tell you know how i feel
ThiS is how i am feeling now...
Raison D'etre first public performance
Song by Sevene (keyboard)
Lyrics by Lenore (vocalist)
Drums solo composing by Hafiz (Drums)
Reality Sucks Big Time
10:34 AM